Gentlemen prefer blondes?

At the time I honestly believed fun abounded from ‘Norma Genie in a bottle’.Being normal is boring and Pia Mia, Kim K, and Rita Ora were now bombshell blonde and I wanted in. The dark heavy brow trend was the perfect excuse for me to see if really was ‘more fun’.

A host of youtubers swore by damage free methods gave hope that maybe the chemical warfare that would burn my scalp, and drain my bank account was a small price to pay for peroxide party that would follow.

In a foggy haze of bleached insanity, a steady diet of DIY tip sites gave rise to the hope that what supermarket dyes promise, they deliver. All the best shades followed as I went through the orange stage, yellow, back to orange… Mum was horrified. The cat was indifferent. But the heart wanted what it now regrets.

I spent thousands of dollars attaining the clean blonde look that trended all of 2015-2016. It was a four year commitment. Olaplex did miracles. Coconut oils, toners, keratin and argon oil treatments all played their part; for a while. However, in the end the perfection I sought was unattainable without constant salon maintenance and a mass of hair extensions to make up for the breakage (which I also tried).

Pia Mia…I was nice to nice to know you, but let’s not do it again. I was born a dark horse, and here I’ll stay. The grass is greener, and I can honestly say, gentlemen prefer… woman with money in the bank, an xbox and hair that isn’t like sandpaper.

Farewell fair maiden, give me a call when i’m completely grey and maybe we can work something out.

 

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